This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to post

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to post, and if you’re reading this I consider you a friend; so it’s time to be honest with you. My only request is that you don’t share this with my family. They don’t know, and they’ll need their own explanation in time, in person.

I’ve been running and hiding. For so long I’ve denied who I am, but I know that you stuck with me through my ups and downs. Some of you may have suspected part of this, for others it will be totally out of left field. Either way if you have any questions feel free to comment, or message me, or ask me in person.

The short version is that I’m gender-queer. This means that I don’t happily fit in as either a male or female. I’m happy presenting as male most of the time, But sometimes I want to be more feminine. When I have to I can go for months at a time being male and relatively happy, but I feel much more comfortable when I don’t confine myself to presenting as male. So occasionally I may wear something feminine. Currently it’s most likely to be shoes, but in the future, it could be more comprehensive. I hope to one day be able to present as entirely female, or at least androgynous when I choose. In the mean time I will look like a guy wearing some female stuff. And I’m fine with that. It’s how I am. and I hope you will be fine with that too.

I’ve known something wasn’t right for a long time. Definitely since I was about 11 or 12, although possibly earlier. I had occasional forays into exploring my gender, but I only started actually questioning myself properly in my first year of university. And now after 3 years of questioning and learning, I’ve accepted who I am. I’m not always a male. I’m not always a female. I am who I am. I’m happy with the name Sam(uel). I’m happy with being biologically male. But I’m also happy with presenting as female, or androgynous. I’m happy with male, female and gender-neutral pronouns. I am happy with wearing whatever clothes I feel like. I am happy with me.

If you’ve made it through that, thank you. Again, if you have any questions, you are more than welcome to ask.

Maybe now the super-happy-times can begin? ^_^

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